You know, I have been on this personal development path for a long time. It probably began when I was living amongst Buddhist Chinese-Malay folk on Christmas Island. True, my work wasn’t particularly spiritual at the time – surveillance in a casino, can you believe – but I did immerse myself in the Buddhist culture then at the age of 26 years. I went to temple, to celebrations and listened to the dharma. My travels took me along the Buddhist trail, and my first teacher, Andrew Tem Foo Lim, normalised my energy and kundalini experiences, and showed me the meaning of capital-L Love and compassion; Love that is greater than self and more than a single being; Love that encompasses strangers, people we don’t particularly enjoy or agree with, as well as those close to us; Love with a holy quality that transcends personalities, and which brings us closer to the divine within and of which we are part.
Even though I have been on this journey – lifetimes, no doubt – more than 25 years in this turn of the wheel, and even though I have followed my path, all the signs, all the openings, feeling this way and that, moving closer and closer… Still, I am prone to doubt sometimes.
Recently, it had been difficult to hold my head above uncertainty. A whole lot of personal change, moving home and vibrational shift had me pondering the grand meanings. And just when I needed that deep inner plane connection – with Spirit and Heru – nothing would come. Nadda. I felt as if a blanket had been thrown over me. It seemed I could not hear or see or feel Spirit or my other clair-senses. And I felt lost, and yes, afraid of what that meant. I could still link to people’s family who had passed, but my ability to elevate my energy and raise my vibration so that I could make contact with the higher frequency planes and communicators was dampened.
I’ve since heard that there is a lot of energetic activity over the Earth at present, and that light workers, healers, psychics, mediums, and all other folk who work with altered states and vibrational health, have experienced a blanking of sorts. You too may have felt something similar. Rest assured, it has lifted, and it seems the general consensus was, time for ‘rest’.
What does it take for you to stop, and to rest? When was the last time you did? I mean really stop; time and space that was just for you. What was it like? And how do you feel when you bring it to memory now?
Well, the flu (twice this year) didn’t stop me; I kept going – working, moving house, meeting groups, putting on smiles and ‘pushing through’. BUT, when my psychism was affected; when I suddenly felt like I was without my extra-sensory capacity, THEN I stopped.
And you won’t believe what happened when I stopped; when I gave myself time…
All of a sudden I realised that the thing I thought I wanted to do with my life, and was just taking steps towards via routes of unfoldment…. well, it turns out, I don’t want to do it! ha!
When I allowed myself to stop, to sit, to let the thoughts flow, the feelings rise within me and tell their story, then the truth of my Soul arose.
And oh! I could feel the LOVE. My heart ached with that Love. The thought and feeling of how magnificent it would be to help folk turn around to discover and come to know their own God Self – to connect with their Soul and to bring that connection into the world.
Oh my goodness! Oh my Godness!
A little bit of quiet. A little bit of free-flowing thought. A lot of coaxing the feelings to rise up and immerse myself in. And a load of honesty.
My blanket of doubt is gone. My connection to the Inner Planes and beyond is returned.
So, when have you doubted? What do you doubt now?
Go sit with yourself. Make time for yourself. Be still with yourself.
The Love that rises within you when you nurture your precious being by opening ways of communication within – that Love speaks your truth.