Silence is a cool river of joy

Silence is cool. It soothes a warm body. Silence and stillness soothes the being. When we stop and we become quiet, the machinery of our world ceases to move us. We simply exist. In a moment of pure awareness, we notice the noise, the futile attempts at order, and we return to our self, and to Source. In such a moment we comprehend eternity and we know ourselves eternal.

It is the non-doing, the not trying, the effortless state of being that our world shifts and moves and gravitates towards us through all the chaotic order, a thread of pure perfection responding to the note of our being. For we are born into the harmony of the universe. It is only the human-made attempts to constrict and manipulate the universe that disrupts that harmony and stems the flow of our vibratory ease.

Imagine a beautiful river, gentle flowing through the passageway of wide open lands. Its banks are steep and lower in places. Fish swim in the deeper waters and grasses grow in the shallows. Its flow is a continuous rhythm to the beat of hills and earth, rains and sky, sun and the tides, and the cycles of nature. Harmony.

Imagine now human made traps set along the banks, designed to catch the fish. See how a road is built and the river diverted from the path of nearby houses. Watch as its waters recede, spread out in new ways, only to be blocked again. Perhaps a wall or a damn. Perhaps the ecosystem of the river becomes so interrupted that fish die, grasses become diseased and waters polluted.

Now consider that you are the river, and land, the sky, the rains, the sun, tides and the natural world is in harmony with you. You know who you are and you flow free. The rains come, you fill. The sun comes and you reduce. Sometimes you spread out. Sometimes you breathe in, but always you ebb and flow with the pulse of the land.

That is until the disruptions begin. And then the ebb changes, the flow alters, and before long the homeostatic relationship with the natural world becomes misaligned, damaged, dis-eased, sometimes destroyed.

That is how it is for us when we move out of alignment with the flow of the universe. The universe wants us to harmonise with it. It entreats us to move back into the fold of its cycles, rhythm and pulse. But there is far too much noise, far too much distraction and oh so much conditioning that prevents us. And this is how we lose our way. This is how we move out of alignment with our being – with the Source of all.

And try as we might, often times desperately, the more we thrash around attempting to return to that state of harmony, the more we flail as fish in the river caught in a net.

For it is not more activity that is required – it is stillness. It is quiet. It is openness and inner noticing that will allow us to hear our spirit talk, that will return us to our flow.

And when we are returned to that state of harmony, to our simply beingness, do we attract and create all that is in alignment with our soul’s evolution.

Why does this matter? Our soul’s evolution?

Because we are eternal beings. Because we cannot remain the same. Because we are expanding consciousness that has the spiritual power to create a world of harmony, and yet for all that this is possible as individuals and as a collective we choose fear, war, disease, poverty, hunger, struggle.

We are better than that, and there is a state, a plane in which we know that we are, and more… we care.

When you decide to remember who you are, where you came from and why you are here, you cannot but be compelled to turn around into the silence and to listen, and to change, and to return to harmony and then BE that change in the world.

Your peace is the peace of the world.

And it’s not that you incarnated so as to mend a broken world – you didn’t, or perhaps you did – but that is not why we incarnate, to have our human experience. It’s a gift. It’s a joy. This brief moment of individual living is the greatest joy. It’s only that we create discord and struggle, and find that we come into the physical world and have to navigate our way through it before we get the experience of human joy.

What if we learned to return to joy. And stay there. You do not shift, you are not moved, you do not stray, but return to joy every moment, every opportunity, every remembering. Joy.

And yes, there will be pain and sorrow and challenge in the world we have made, and it is important to meet each and every episode of emotion and circumstance and be supported in processing it well. And then how marvellous it will be if every now and then you remembered joy. And brought that into your sphere of living.

Even if at first you fake it – til you’re actually feeling it.  

An exercise that I like to practice each day is one in which I am like a balloon lifting up, only, I remain seated, but my mood is as if it has helium in it. You might like to try it…

  • Sit quiet a moment
  • Bring your awareness to your chest – in the centre where your heart chakra (energy centre) is
  • Now whether you feel like it or not, bring a small smile to your face
  • Now you are aware of your smile and your heart centre
  • Now imagine that both your smile and heart energy are growing – expanding up and out – so you might bring in a long breath and your chest rises and your mouth widens
  • And at the same time think on something that brings you joy – a child, a loved one, a dog or cat, a favourite activity, dance, music, play – whatever it is and use that as your balloon to rise higher and higher on the breath of air…

When I practice this each morning, I base it on a dream I had… I was standing in front of a group of men from religious order and Spirit said ‘show them’ and within me a tiny light ignited in my chest. With my eyes closed my energy rose higher and higher and grew wider and wider until it burst out into a blissful expanse of white light. Tears flowed from my dreaming eyes. I looked at the men and they understood my connection with the divine. When I awoke, my face was wet with ecstatic tears of connection – of bliss and joy. 

Joy raises our vibration and illuminates our path in a way no other emotion does. It creates our unfolding reality just as we designed it to when we we were non-physical.

I invite you today to sit a moment in the cool silence of joy.

Karolyne is a psycho-spiritual therapist, writer and teacher, living and working in Edinburgh, Scotland. Visit her website here and School of Intuitive Studies here. You can contact Karolyne via email
Painting by Corie Hinton

‘Your world is the people around you.’

This week I had the privilege of speaking to an older man who has lived much his long life. In conversation, he shared some of his experiences and some of his losses. As tears gently paid homage to his heart’s loves, this dear soul recounted the names and lives of those he has been with as they took their final breaths. At the side of his friends, parents, family members, child and wife, this man has sat, holding the hands of loved ones as they transitioned through death.

What do you say to someone whose heart is breaking as he realises in that moment he hasn’t got the strength to sit with another close friend who is dying; and that his own death is imminent?

Nothing.

I said nothing. Only held his hand for a moment, and listened.

And when his tears still fell but his words had ceased, we just hugged.

He thanked me for hearing him then, said that no one would. And I was pleased to have remained quietly present for him.

I think it was Tara Brach, the Buddhist psychologist, who spoke about authentic presence – being truly in the moment of relating.

We are conditioned to respond in ways often that negate our feelings and our true experience of situations. So too, we have habitual ways of being that can talk over people, say what we think they want to hear or simply reflect our own beliefs, fears, stances, minimising or vanishing the other’s voice, and heart.

Authentic presence mean pausing, feeling, listening to your inner response in the moment and moving from that place of genuine beingness rather than reactivity or habit.

It takes practice and cultivation. And getting to know yourself and how you react, respond and relate, as well as learning to feel and communicate from a place of open heartedness. 

The pause is often the hardest part to remember, but like any old habit, it can be learnt and part of our new way of being. Mindfulness practice is a fabulous beginning. 

At the end of our talk, blue eyes glistening and a gentle smile, this gentle man reflected…

‘Your world is the people around you.’

Having just returned from a celebration for the autumn equinox with companions on the magical path with me, his words resonate soundly.

The people in our life make it what it is. Let us gravitate towards those people who make our world rich and loving.

And let us love those people in turn with our rich, authentic presence.

What if this is all there is…

Recently, with my mum going into hospital, I’ve been called to consider our mortal life. When a loved one is ill or needs surgery or requires care, there is often a compelling to be closer, to say more, to reach for them. At least, that is how I’ve found it these last days, and in the past.

All this concern for my mum has led me to ponder my own existence…

What I came to realise is that I will die. And it is the same for all my family and loved ones, as it is the same for you and yours. It’s a funny ol’ thought.

Sounds silly, doesn’t it? I can hear you say, ‘Ah, der, yes, Karolyne, of course you will – we all do’.

And true enough – at some point in my beautiful existence, there will no longer be a Karolyne except in the memory of those I’ve touched.

And yes, of course I knew this, but it was not really a tangible, feeling-state knowing – more a little way off, won’t happen for some time, it’s all fine, kind of awareness.

Even then, with my understanding of spirit and the indestructible nature of energy, I know that death is not a finality but merely a transitional state leading to another existence in the perpetuity of life. This gives me comfort and indeed, communication with loved ones already in spirit, is an on-going source of succour and learning.

Still, I began to think about my precious life…

I thought what if everything I believe in turns out to be wrong, and I am simply flesh and blood and my bones and flesh turn to dust upon death, and what I understand to be my consciousness is nothing but firing neurons, and they too will cease to exist upon my death – so that I no longer am in any capacity, individual, singular or even part of a greater whole of consciousness – what if death really is ‘it’…

Well, I thought… if that is so, then I want my life to stand for something. I want my life to help others to live a freer life. I want to help free people from their hurts. To help heal people of their wounds. To assist folk to find meaning in their life. And to use the Laws of the Universe to work for them, not against them.

Thinking of how proud I am of my mum. How she so courageously stood up when her community group lost it’s funding, and ran the singing class herself. How she rallied on the steps of parliament to raise awareness about the health benefits of singing. How she had radio interviews, spoke with politicians, wrote articles in the paper, and how she now runs one group and belongs to three others. Her singing, her passion, changes lives. And it has changed her life. 

The courage to be in life – no matter the circumstance of its beginning, its unfolding, the place and context you find yourself in now – the courage to live.

So in all this pondering, I realised that it doesn’t matter if I continue to exist after my death or not; it only matters that what I do with my life now has a positive, life-enhancing impact on the world. That I do not let the train pass me by.

It is my contribution that matters.

To this end, I cannot creep towards my death. I cannot settle for any circumstance that is less than exactly what I want. I cannot allow fear to hold me back, to intimidate me, to limit me in any way. I must grasp opportunity by the hands and dive in and thrive whenever the moment comes to me.

Whether I am here for a reason or not – I am deciding that my reason is to leave the world a better place; to assist and help as many people as possible to live a better life.

That is my mission.

And it is a mission I fully accept. No qualms.

It is my service, and my delight. It is my privilege.

And I wonder what is yours?

If this is your one life – if this is all there is – what will you do with it? What are you doing with it that will you be able to look back and smile contented…

Perhaps you are already living your chosen life. Perhaps you are already content. Perhaps you’ve never thought about it and aren’t really interested, and that’s fine too.

But then again, perhaps it is just now that you feel the rise within you, the fire of determination, the zest for something else…

Whether we live once or a thousand, thousand times, one thing is for sure… THIS life will not come again.

Why not live it fully? Live it true. Live every single moment in a way best aligned with your inner being…

And if not every moment, perhaps one conscious act whenever you are able… and one courageous act whenever you think you cannot.

For me, it’s starting the work on my publishing book proposal. Even though my ego-self denies my soul’s utter peace with the process I’m forging forward despite ego-fear bleats that I cannot…

What step might you take? What new thing to live your life more peacefully, positively, healthily, happily, fulfilled….

If this is all there is… which, I don’t for a minute believe… but, hypothetically… 

What single thing could you begin, change, do differently, embrace… 

 

Want a life change but don’t know where to start…

Are you drawn to a more spiritual or satisfying lifestyle or career but don’t know where to begin?

One of the first things any coach or mentor facilitates with their client or pupil is to identify the individual’s vision. What is your desired future?

And, one of the most common stumbling blocks for those individuals is that they don’t know what they actually want.

Often, more than else, a person knows that they are not content with the current state of affairs. They want change or feel a calling towards a different life, but they’re not quite sure what they’d like or how to create it.

For example, Peta was a highly trained marketing manager responsible for six employees in a government department. She’d been in the same job for over eleven years. It paid very well and there were many aspects of the job Peta really enjoyed.

However, the nature of the industry and the high pressured deadlines meant that Peta was constantly working more hours than her 9 to 5 contract, she felt stressed a lot of the time, and her health started to decline. 

Now fortunately, Peta had supports, including her partner, friends, doctor and complementary health practitioners, who encouraged her to cut back from the hours she was working.

Peta took their advice and began to work part time. Because of the way her new hours were staggered, the salary cut wasn’t so significant that she missed it greatly. Peta had two extra days a week to relax, spend time with her children and with herself. Her health improved, she and her family holidayed more, and Peta became happier for her choice.

Alongside this, Peta had time to consider what she wanted for her life. She felt she was at the point of trying something new. She’d always known there was more to life than the 9 to 5, but she’d found herself on a treadmill and didn’t know how to get off. Now that Petra had said goodbye to the full-time treadmill she wanted to branch out into a more personally and spiritually satisfying direction.

But she didn’t know to where to start…

Well, Petra was not alone in her stumbling block. I see many clients who take measures to attend to their health and wellbeing, and who, experiencing positive changes in themselves, want to take that step further, but are not quite sure how to do it or even what it is they’d like as an outcome of change.

Each of them has an unsettled feeling and a drive to do, know, be more. They are becoming or are already awaren of themselves as evolving and expanding, but not really knowing what to do with that awareness, and not satisfied until they are living their expansion. 

Once that awareness comes to the fore, it is very difficult to ignore it and to be satisfied with the status quo. 

This is where having guidance and assistance can help. And who better to turn to than yourself?

That’s right. I’m a firm believer that everything we ever need is already within us, just waiting to surface towards recognition and acknowledgement.

‘Know Thyself.’

This Ancient Greek aphorism is never more relevant than it is today. Said to have donned the forecourt of the Temple of Apollo wherefrom the Oracle of Delphi spoke forth her prophesy, these words cut to the heart of all self-transformation.  

Today, as we bridge into the new age of Aquarius, we are compelled to turn within rather than without, and to know ourselves as divine. But first, we must know ourself.  

When we turn around and begin to really learn about ourselves then we become informed about what in life serves us best.

Too often folk get out of one unhealthy or unsuitable circumstance, whether job, career, relationship, contract, group, institution or other life aspect, only to find themselves in a similarly dissatisfying situation.

Why?

Because they didn’t know themselves.

Of course, there are myriad reasons why patterns are repeated, but certainly our circumstances have a greater chance of change if we know who we are, what our propensities lean towards, what influences us, how those influences came about, how and when we feel, what beliefs we have that don’t serve us, what habit and our values are, and what in life thrills us, excites us, finds us alive with joy or at least gives us peace and wellbeing.

When we come to know our Self, we are closer to knowing what our vision is and how to get there.

Without a doubt, one of the ways to know yourself is to turn inward, to listen to your thoughts, to watch your feelings – when are they activated, what heightens them, what dulls them – what patterns can you see in your life that you repeat in a way that does not help you, and which ones do help you…

Paying attention to your self.

Noticing your self.

Here are my ingredients for that initial step to knowing yourself – they’ve certainly helped me come to work my passions of healing and personal transformation:

  1. Know yourself – mindful awareness
  2. Identify your programme – what early beliefs implanted themselves that no longer serve you – internally and as behaviours/habits
  3. Identify values – make aware the values you hold and note where they are absent in your life
  4. Healing – engage in any healing work needed to assist the transformation
  5. Change your beliefs – alter the subconscious programme through hypnosis, regression work or other
  6. Repetition – repeat new beliefs, understandings
  7. Habituation – repetition in action creating new habits that do serve you aligned with values, authentic vibration and new self-knowing
  8. Turn Around – quietly with time for yourself and with new self-awareness and understanding, ask what is it you want…

There are tools to help you on this journey of self-exploration – so many – I suggest gravitating towards the ones that resonate with you, not just the ones that are more popular or available.

My ingredients are a first step in the unfolding of self-spiritual life change. They’ve helped me, and I use them in my work to help others.

It begins with you knowing you, and then it branches out into development and living your choices. From there it can move on to giving back and service…

Peta resigned from her government part-time job nine months ago. She used the two days off she had to study her young-adult interest of homeopathy. Today, Peta runs her own business supplying homeopathic remedies to holistic services and shops throughout Britain. She has turned her journey into a lifestyle and a service for others, running workshops on health and wellbeing, and treating clients. Peta’s own health has never been better, and just recently she laughed, ‘I’ve got everything I wanted, even though I didn’t know I wanted it back then!’.

Now, it doesn’t have to be natural medicine that floats your boat – it’ll be specific to your interests, values, vibration, soul’s path…

But if you want a spiritual or life change and don’t know where to begin, I hope this has helped, at least a little… Know Thyself. First. 

 

 

 

 

‘Puckoon’ – A Gift of Care

Here I am at 730am on Monday morning and I’ve been awake since 230am. Why? Well, some of you will understand that the creative impulse knows no time!

Surprisingly, it’s quite a lovely part of the day; watching the changing light is so beautiful. And as I look out the window from my desk, the sun is already stretching well into the morning sky. 

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What have I been doing for the past few hours? I’ve been writing to my ideal reader… And I wonder if that person is you?

It’s such a precious process coming to write for my reader. I closed my eyes and there she was… her life unfolding before me. A character who is leading me to answer her questions, help her overcome her fears, guide her in her spiritual unfoldment, and reassure her that she is not alone.

And as the creative juices flowed, I reflected on the people who have helped me along the way; a number of whom were schoolteachers.

When I was home in Adelaide recently, I went through all my books, passing on hundreds to charity and retaining custodian of many. I brought a few back with me too. One of these you may be surprised to hear, was Spike Milligan’s ‘Puckoon’.

For those of you who have never heard of Spike, he was a British-Irish comedian, and I have to say, I would not have thought to buy one of his novels. But, this wee gem came my way in the mid-1980s from a temp English teacher who had a gentle, caring way about him, and it gave me succour in a year of teenage angst.

That blessed teacher wrote in the front of the book, and his words remained with me throughout the years:

‘Dear Karolyne, All the best for your future – remember anything you want to do you can do. This book should make you laugh – I hope so. Love… ‘

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I had thought the book was lost so imagine my delight when I found it at the bottom of a box in my parents’ garage.

Reading the teacher’s message again, I wondered about all the ways the Universe conspires to help us.

Small and large moments come along to help us navigate the oft times tricky matter of life. Sometimes the inspiration, guidance, kindness, compassion or generosity that comes to us counters dominant themes in our life that may not serve us best.

I’m sure if you had a think back, you’ll remember at least one person who gave you a precious gem to hold to at a time you needed. 

Of course, we may not have seen it as the gift it was then; hindsight can make rich something that once seemed everyday.

Considering the words, gestures, books, guidance I’ve had along the way, I’m inclined to make a scrap-book or a memory-inspiration board out of them.

We’re exposed to so many quotes, inspiring sayings or motivating words from complete strangers, given credence because of their fame and popularity. But what of the everyday person – the parent, friend, employer, shop-keeper, taxi-driver, florist, bartender, librarian, dog walker, person on the street… schoolteacher… What of the wee gems that the average person passes onto us…

Let us remember them today. Let us remember the gift they gave, and how we were brightened for it…

Social media is not the only repository of best inspiration…

We find that the Great Spirit works its magic through all beings…

Ready are you? Guides, Mentors, Friends and Fellowship – Helping hands along the way.

After a lovely weekend with a dear friend, I’m reflecting on how valuable a group of people or an individual is for the development of creative and spiritual endeavours. 

During this past week, I’ve had valuable conversations with friends. I’ve sat in conversation with another dear one who apprentices me in ways of magic and life learning. And, as I work on my chapter outline for ‘Spirit Talk’, I was gifted a weekend with a dear friend who has just published her first book. We spent the time discussing ideas, growth points, vulnerabilities, dreams and enjoyments. It was a wealth of sharing, peer-support, friendship and mutual guidance. 

When I consider the richness of company I enjoy – a fellowship, if you like – I realise how fortunate I am to have people in my life who nurture, reflect and guide me in my personal, spiritual and creative life. And I feel the gift it is for me to participate in that role for others.

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The Fellowship of the Ring – a band of companions for a significant journey.

But this connection and guidance wasn’t always there. When I first entered into magical study and the Western Mysteries in Australia, I was quite isolated in these endeavours. And as these studies opened me up to Spirit and the inner planes, I had little support in understanding my experiences.

When Spirit and those Otherworld contacts began speaking with me, communicating teachings and intentions, well, that was outright unsettling. How could I be in relationship with the unseen, devote my time, energy, interest and indeed, my foreseeable future to the visions and directions Their communications were leading me when convention said that was wrong?

Convention said I must be mad. Fear said that path is too hard. Fear said that demands too much of me. I was yearning for it all to be true and yet terrified my experiences were real – because I would be called to act; then I would have to face what that meant; I would have a responsibility, a duty to follow through and to be guided, and I knew, ultimately, I would have to make visible the invisible and known the unknown, revealing myself as one who communed with the Otherworlds.

And yes, that terrified me.

Then, I couldn’t tell you why it scared me so, but it did. I know now that a fear of persecution, of ridicule, betrayal, torture and death was the hidden force behind my reluctance to BE one who mediates the physical and non physical worlds. One who is both bridge and seer.

But that is what I am, and to deny it is to deny my Self. To shun it is to love a lie and decay in unfulfilled potential; to make mockery of the soul plan I entered this life to live.

And so here I am today… dropping the mask, revealing my truth. It is what I hope for you too. It is all I hope for you. Drop the mask, and live your truth.

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Dropping the mask, revealing your truth.

I did not come to this state of acceptance alone – this living truth overnight. Ever, always, constant and never failing me, was Spirit and those of the Otherworlds and Inner Planes. And just as the inner realm is reflected in the outer, the physical world sent me people who taught me, helped me to understand my unfolding, guided me through healing, assisted me in very practical ways, until I was able to integrate, accept and then offer what I had learnt.

What I know now is that it is difficult to navigate creative, healing, spiritual and personal development alone. There are times when a person needs to share, to seek guidance, to have an affirming word spoken, to gain direction, to see familiarity in the other, to know she is not alone – or crazy!

It is in relationship with a mentor and guide or a friend who is able to hold space for you, reflect and advise when required that you are freer to simply allow and encourage your spiritual and personal progress.

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Calypso meets the young Telemachus while Athena, disguised as his older friend, Mentor, looks on.

‘Mentor’ comes from Homer’s Odyssey, wherein the Goddess Athena takes on the guise of Mentor, the trusted friend of Telemachus. As Mentor, Athena encourages Telemachus in his pursuits and plans. It is this guidance and the journey that Telemachus subsequently undertakes that gave ‘mentor’ it’s meaning today. 

Unlike in the Odyssey, today’s mentor is not a goddess or god. They are not better than you – often revealing their own frailties and flaws along the way – but they do have experience that qualifies them as teacher and guide. In this way, your progress is directed and nurtured until your readiness to take the lead changes the need for the mentor.

Of course, this relationship is not one-way. The guide or mentor learns through the process and this often informs the ongoing development of the their interests and path.

The guide and mentor will listen to where you want to go, outline a path of training, framework or guidance in order to reach your goal, and hold you in support as you journey the ofttimes challenging adventure of your development. And when you are ready, that person will ‘let go’ the reigns of teaching, stepping aside that you may walk confident in your understanding and unfoldment, having attained the desired outcome. And perhaps you too will go on to guide others. 

These days, my ‘fellowship’ of significant friends and individual mentors helps me to know myself better, and to gain knowledge in areas I’ve little gleaned. They help me to stay on track, to create frameworks to assist in my creative pursuits, to give feedback on my ideas, to critically assess my work, to listen to my concerns, my pains, to hold me in my changing and healing, to consistently stand steadfast all the while I grow into myself and reveal that Self in the world.

Their value to me cannot be measured. 

If you want change in your life, to pursue a creative idea, work towards the realisation of your goals or dreams, heal or you simply need short-term guidance, I encourage you to seek out a mentor or peer support.

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Reach for support.

You likely already have a few support people in your life. Often, there is one among those people, someone who plays a particular role in your life and who could easily slip into being a regular mentor. Sometimes, a friend or group of friends or peers can fulfil the purpose. You’ll know what is right for you.

I am convinced that if we want to drop our masks of convention, complacency and existence to embrace the vibration of our centre and soul’s evolution, we cannot do that alone. We need to be in relationship with mentors and guides – whatever form they take, the single Yoda or the Fellowship – to advance our intentions and to unfold our spirit.

It is with much heart gratitude that I give thanks for those in my life – physical and non-physical – who guide and nurture me. 

 

Everything Is Always Working Out For Me

(Warning, some explicit language. Sensitive souls may wish to cover their eyes at paragraph 7) 

Last week the lovely Louise Minhas sent me a YouTube video on Facebook. It was a recording of Abraham through Ester Hicks. If you don’t know who I’m talking about, please do Google them. I had not heard of Abraham-Hicks prior to coming to Britain, but if I had, I would have said, that is what I want to be doing with my life. I want to be sharing the wisdom teachings of Heru, the collective consciousness of non-physical being with whom I share a relationship. I would have said that I want to be instrumental in helping facilitate the vibrational evolution of the people I meet. And of course, that is part of the unfolding of me in the world today.

Well, this particular video begins… ‘Everything is always working out for me… Everything is always working out for me’.

When I first listened to the recording, I sat there thinking ‘Aye, right. Everything is working out for me – my arse.’

Well, by the time, I’d finished listening to it, and ever since, I’m thinking ‘Too right – EVEYTHING! IS always working out for me.

Yes it is.

And, I can hear you from here… How? Because I was you.

I was thinking about all the ways those things weren’t working out for me. I was thinking of all the financial poo I was in. I was thinking about my health… hell, I was SO wound up about my finances that the wee lump in my booby I’m getting checked out, I was thinking, oh yeah, if it turns out to be terminal, I’ll get my life insurance policy – and THEN everything will be okay. Ha! As my nephew might say ‘What the Fuck?!’. I mean, What the actual Fuck!

But it’s true right? Sometimes our experience is that things are not working out the way we would like it. Between family, children, finances, health, work, friends, relationships, and countless other nuances of daily life, these ‘things’ may or may not be as harmonious as we would like.

And yet…

And yet…

Everything really is always working out for me.

And when I say that, I do truly believe it. I realise I have always believed it. 

There is a song some of you might remember, Bee Gees I think… ‘There’s a light, a certain kind of light… that’s NEVER shone on me… I want my whole life to be… ‘ .

Well, I remember opening a letter on my way to my parents’ place, where I was living at the time. I was 30 years old, just returned to Australia from Christmas Island, and that letter announced my acceptance into university – mature age student. Oh I sang my heart out. Walking along the train tracks, not a care in the world…  

‘There’s a Light, a certain kind of light, that’s ALWAYS shone on me... I want my whole life to beeeeeee….’ And truthfully, for the better part of my life, that is how it has been for me, belief in that light shining on and in me… but not just me, everyone. Only, I knew it then, as I know it now.  

Even when the challenges of life weigh me down, even when I am farthest away from my alignment, I know that everything is working out just the way it needs be.

Okay, so I may not know it at the time. In all honesty, I rarely know it when I’m in the thick of it. I may have glimpses of it – moments of ‘It’s okay, helps on the way’, as Abraham reassures us. But not consistently, when in those challenging times.

Often that feeling of knowing that everything is working out, is a retrospective thing. My learning just now is how to be in the presence of that knowing at the time. 

And it’s not for me to tell you to; it’s just for me to teach me to.

For how can I tell someone who just lost their job – it’s okay, everything is working out for you. Or someone who just lost a child? Or a partner? Or folk caught up in the various atrocities around the world? How to tell them that everything is always working out for them?

What I’ve come to appreciate is that it’s not my job to tell folk; it’s my job to tell me.

I will know when I can vibe with that affirmation. I will know when I can meet it. And I will use it when I am able to, and when I am not able to, I will be kind to myself, until I am able to.

And I guess that is my message this week:

‘Everything is always working out for me’. And I know that when I am in alignment with this statement – when I feel the excitement of it rising up, in and through me, then by goodness, the Universe responds immediately, and the momentum brings about reinforcing manifestations that aid my belief, my knowing that YES, things are really working out for me.

And when I am disconnected from my alignment – when I am out of phase with it – I am making a commitment now to be gentle, kind and loving to myself, until I am realigned.

And rather than telling, this blog is an invitation to you. I invite you to have a listen to the Abraham video, to take up the mantra, the affirmation.

And when you’re not feeling the excitement and joy of ‘Everything is always working out for me’, to be in whatever feeling you are experiencing and to sit with those feelings without judging yourself. To offer yourself kindness and compassion.

And when things are lighter, move into that affirmation space again…

Everything is always working out for me.

And when it isn’t, I am easy and gentle and kind to myself, until…

Everything is once again, always working out for me.

Let us ride that momentum for a while, and see what life brings us.

 

 

 

Jesus Take The Wheel

Before my regression training, I felt a silent, fierce impetus that pushed me forward, that got me up every day, that kept me on a trajectory, and which whispered into my ear ‘You’re on the right path – keep going’.

After more than a dozen past and current life energy clearings, that silent, fierce impetus is no more.

And what I’ve realised after it had disappeared, is that it had left little room for much else. It was a driving force that drove all else, but the energy of it, aside. 

I use to marvel at folks who would go to art classes, dance lessons, evening walks, theatre, singing groups, heck, leisurely holidays abroad. My impetus meant that I had little time for those pleasures.

Even though I would encourage others to take up hobbies, to rest and enjoy creative endeavours, to make time to experience non-work activities; even though I knew that this material incarnation is a gift to be cherished and experienced in all its many facets… still, my fierce impetus told me there wasn’t room for everyday pleasure, joyful abandon or simply having fun. My impetus had a trajectory, a forward urgency that relentlessly push, push, pushed me, on and on…

But my last set of regressions released that impetus. Cut it off from my life energy. It was linked to a few past lives as religious persons, and one in particular…

High up on a sharp mountainside, within the thick, medieval walls of a last bastion of a castle, I sat in my aged, male body, desperately attempting to complete a piece of writing that would ensure the secrets of a young boy’s ancestry, his bloodline, would be safe. Two men awaited my completion, for the parchment to go into the dark wooden chest, with all the other documents that needed safe keeping. Two poles had been fixed to the chest so the men could carry it beyond the castle walls and town. Time was of the essence. But time did not favour us. A loud commotion alerted me to the battle raging through the castle. I could hear it getting closer and closer – the sound of metal on metal, the muffled cries of men dying. And now, my room breached and the men by the chest cut down, and before the ink is dry and the parchment hidden, I am driven through by the sword of a knight among those who have stormed the castle; my work left unfinished.

The impetus that drove me came from this time. The religious fervour that was my drive, derived from that incarnation – a job unfinished.

And now that life is healed. And now that wound is healed.

And now that impetus is gone. The striving has vanished.

And I am left, a small boat upon a big ocean, no longer fevered in my drive towards spiritual truth, unanchored now, free to float towards a trajectory, unknowing what that is…

And, it’s like any change. It’s an ending. And where there is ending, there is a strange twilight receding and beginning. A time of inbetweenness, of uncertainty. A time that can be most unsettling.

That time can feel lost and wayward and as if purpose is unknown.

And, I know that I am not alone in this experience. That I am a microcosm of the macrocosmic inbetweenness that is our moving out of one eon or age into another; that is our changing evolution and vibrational state.

And this is played out on all levels, and we feel it as individuals. 

It may be the release of energy; it may be the job transition, the end of a relationship, the passing of a loved one, the changing of home or city or intention. It may be heightened emotions, unexplained illnesses, inexplicable concerns… A sudden or gradual change of a state or a way of being.

We are a species constantly experiencing inbetweenness but ever more so just now. In this global condition, we agreed to incarnate into as we cross the Bridge of Ages, we live with change and uncertainty. And though our individual experience often mirrors the global condition, our conscious awareness, our awakeness, can assist us in times of transition and inbetweenness.  

So, what to do? How do we live with the forces of uncertainty – in the inbetweenness?

Well, a couple of days ago, I was introduced to the term, ‘Jesus take the wheel’. It coincided with a piece I’d just written on letting go. 

Jesus take the wheel.

Let go and trust.

Let go and trust that all will be exactly as needs be. 

Because, I don’t know about you, but me, when I’m in that uncertainty, I tend to hold more tightly.

Jesus take the wheel… Let it go.

What happens when we hold tightly, latch on to, push against, is that our efforts usually cause us more unrest, hurt, disappointment.

Why? Because when we hold tight, attach, push, we do so from fear… Fear of loss, fear of hurt, fear of failure, fear of loneliness, fear of poverty, fear of all manner of things… And when we are sitting in uncertainty, fear can rise up in ways that it hasn’t before…  

Like when a person had an impetus that is no longer there…

When we let go, we don’t stop caring, but we do stop forcing, trying to control… When we let go, we TRUST that our very own, authentic, loving self will BE and DO exactly what is needed for our wellbeing.

Because when we let go, we surrender to the laws of the Universe, the rhythm of our planet of which we are part. We ride the wave that is the Symphony of Life within a vibration of harmony.

As Buddhist nun Pema Chodron says, that when we can let go of the fear, we come to learn how to live beautifully with uncertainty and change.

We let go.

Jesus take the wheel!

We let go into the space between, and we trust.

And rather than holding tightly, we can let go into all manner of experiences. We let go into family. We let go into friends. We let go into creativity. We let go into joy. We let go into meditation, dance, art, singing, Spirit. We let go into Love.

We let go into the Universe and its harmonious flow.

Jesus take the wheel.

For me that means living without striving, without that urgency pushing me forward; it means trusting that the unfolding of inbetweenness into knowing, clarity and newness, will have its own riches, learnings, opportunities.

Less impetus. More joy. Less striving. More play. 

That is my intention now – to live beautifully in this time of change.

What would it be like for you, if ‘Jesus’ took the wheel? If you let go and trust each moment in uncertainty, knowing, really knowing that even uncertainty has its beauty…

Taking off the Mask

This week has seen the turning of Beltane, the rich, wild, illuminating fires of seasonal shift in the planetary cycle of our beautiful hemisphere.

At this time, Edinburgh has a vibrant celebration at the top of Calton Hill. A few thousand people witness the Celtic carnival of summer’s emergence in a fire festival with the Green Man and May Queen. The bon fire at the end is exceptional, and to dance around it as the night gives way to the new morning, is a pulsing, trance-like experience of connection – with earth, elements, nature’s creatures, fey, people and self. 

Copyright Martin McCarthy for Beltane Fire Society.

This year, my own celebration took place with a group of 8 companions in the Scottish Borders. The theme of our gathering was Beltane Masks.

During the Saturday we contemplated what a mask is, what it serves, when do we wear them, and what would it be like to cast off our masks? 

Each of us decorated papier-mâché masks, having decided upon that aspect of our personality or habit we would like to change.

We had taken a journey on the inner through a maze of internal corridors to come face to face with our personal mirror. What we saw in the mirror ostensibly would reveal to us that which we wished to de-mask. 

I saw fear. And I felt courage. 

It wasn’t a general sort of fear, but fear linked to spiritual truth. And the feeling of courage, yearned to come out from behind the mask of silence and fear. 

Recently, it has occurred to me that my spiritual truths have changed or have been urging me to change and I have been resisting them. Like one of those pictures that you look at and see one thing, then shift perception and see another thing, I have been attempting to hold my perception in place so as to only acknowledge particular aspects. The others, which have crept up on me, relating to inner plane teachings and personal experiences, I have not wanted to acknowledge or integrate. 

How could I be a credible therapist while also speaking with Spirit, channelling teachings from the inner planes or using my advancing psychism, particularly when some of those teachings and experiences seem so ‘way out’ there? 

Even as I write, I smile to myself because of course, if I am not comfortable with my spiritual truths, how can I expect to help others come to understand and develop their own spiritual experiences?  

And you might say, yes, but Karolyne, I’ve had sessions with you, and all of this has been part of our time together, and I’ve been able to express my own ‘way out’ beliefs too. And of course, that is all true.

I guess, I am thinking specifically about my writing, and more specifically about a book I am writing – Spirit Talk. A friend asked me the other day – what is it that is served by me stalling my writing? It came to me that by putting off writing, I am protecting myself from being judged. If I’m not judged, I won’t look ‘crazy’ or strange or incompetent.

Fear.

IMG_5207So after I had painted my mask – with Eyes of Horus, for my inner plane contact, with a division down the middle for being torn in two, with a closed mouth for silence and a pretty look for hiding – I took such great delight to dance around the Beltane fire with my companions and to throw that mask into the flames!

Of course, it’s not enough, just to recognise the mask and to cast it off in such a ritual; the next step is likely the most important, and that is to move in the direction that the mask was inhibiting.

So my work now is to write every day – to get that book written – and more, to increasingly incorporate my spiritual truths in my language, conversations, behaviours and work, where applicable.

I wonder if you can think of a mask that you wear? Like most of us, probably more than one. Maybe it is a mask worn through fear or for safety, to fit in, to please, to hide, to mirror another, perform a behaviour that you’d rather not or any other reason…

What would it be like to remove that mask?

And what needs to change in your life to help you remove that mask? I’m interested to know. If this blogs prompts some thought, drop me a line. 

What would your life be like free of that mask?

‘Tear off the mask, your face is glorious’ – Rumi

Beltane Fire Festival Photo by Martin McCarthy.

What do you think?

 

Now, this week, I have taken a week off from seeing clients. I have had a very long to-do list and thought this time would give me a chance to catch up. However, rather than getting through my to-do list, this week has given me a chance to think.

I know, right… think. You’d expect that we do it all the time, so why would I need to make time to think. Well, apparently 95% of our thoughts during the day are ones we’ve had the day before! Crazy huh. But when you think about it, you begin to realise that you’re playing over conservations, repeating thoughts of yesterday, and to be fair, reserach tells us that 80% of those are negative! Blimey. 

Actual thinking is something else.

One of my coaches, Bob Proctor says, When you think, everything inside shifts. You break through all the chaos and confusion. A feeling of order, purpose and intention takes over. 

I would add that when we think, we make conscious, present space for ideas, notions, realisations and feelings to emerge.

When we consciously think, we make room for understanding.

Well, there’s been a lot of change in my life recently, and the time I’ve given myself this week has allowed me to think, to reflect and understand the energy and circumstances related to those changes.

I realised that old, old energy had been moving my relationships. That I had been a puppet to them, and they weren’t even mine – they belonged to my childhood. The energy of fear and separation had infiltrated my unconscious programming and had been steering me along relationship paths that played out accordingly. So sad. And so sad that realisation. But also so freeing. And now, seen in the light of day, processed through thinking, felt through body, it is released, and I am able to go forward with greater self awareness and understanding. And, thank goodness, I am able to take a friend up on a weekend trip away because I am choosing connection rather than separation. I am choosing play rather than work, work, work.

But why did it take so long? 

Well, there’s likely a number of interwoven reasons, including personal development and readiness to heal, but when I was talking with my brother in Adelaide, Australia, this morning, we shared some ideas about thinking. We both agreed that the treadmill of work, family, social life, social media, and personal commitments and responsibilities fills our days with repetition and distraction from truly thinking. In this way, new ideas, new realisations, new understandings, are hard-pressed to make themselves known.

My dreams were telling me that process was happening, but my days were filled so tightly that none of the subconscious awareness was making its way to the surface.

Just giving myself time to think in the mornings has made a world of difference. 

When I get up now, I make a fresh juice of fruit, ginger, tumeric, and greens – spinach or curly kale – with spirulina powder mixed in. Then I go meditate for 20-30 minutes, after which I work out with qigong and exercise for another 20 minutes. This routine has meant getting up an hour and half earlier than before. And while that was a struggle at first, now, I look forward to it.

It is during the meditation that the space allows process to rise up. It is after meditation that the thinking is given room to happen. And it’s beautiful.

The thinking brings with it the feeling (though sometimes feeling leads to thinking). And the feeling is powerful. It’s not always comfortable, mind. There are often tears, but that too is beautiful, because it is all healing.

What I found was that the busyness of my day meant I did a lot of avoiding; a lot of ‘i’ll get to that (thought) later’. Making time to allow the percolation of feeling/thinking states to occur, rise up and be seen and felt is one of the most important realisations I’ve had this week. I really do feel happier.

It’s so simple, isn’t it? I mean, it sounds so simple. But really, when was the last time you just allowed new thinking and inner feelings to speak to you?

So… when did you last THINK? I mean really think.

And when you did, what did you realise? What happened? I’m really interested to know, so if inclined, send me a message.

Meantime, happy thinking! 

With Love and Blessings,
Karolyne