‘Your world is the people around you.’

This week I had the privilege of speaking to an older man who has lived much his long life. In conversation, he shared some of his experiences and some of his losses. As tears gently paid homage to his heart’s loves, this dear soul recounted the names and lives of those he has been with as they took their final breaths. At the side of his friends, parents, family members, child and wife, this man has sat, holding the hands of loved ones as they transitioned through death.

What do you say to someone whose heart is breaking as he realises in that moment he hasn’t got the strength to sit with another close friend who is dying; and that his own death is imminent?

Nothing.

I said nothing. Only held his hand for a moment, and listened.

And when his tears still fell but his words had ceased, we just hugged.

He thanked me for hearing him then, said that no one would. And I was pleased to have remained quietly present for him.

I think it was Tara Brach, the Buddhist psychologist, who spoke about authentic presence – being truly in the moment of relating.

We are conditioned to respond in ways often that negate our feelings and our true experience of situations. So too, we have habitual ways of being that can talk over people, say what we think they want to hear or simply reflect our own beliefs, fears, stances, minimising or vanishing the other’s voice, and heart.

Authentic presence mean pausing, feeling, listening to your inner response in the moment and moving from that place of genuine beingness rather than reactivity or habit.

It takes practice and cultivation. And getting to know yourself and how you react, respond and relate, as well as learning to feel and communicate from a place of open heartedness. 

The pause is often the hardest part to remember, but like any old habit, it can be learnt and part of our new way of being. Mindfulness practice is a fabulous beginning. 

At the end of our talk, blue eyes glistening and a gentle smile, this gentle man reflected…

‘Your world is the people around you.’

Having just returned from a celebration for the autumn equinox with companions on the magical path with me, his words resonate soundly.

The people in our life make it what it is. Let us gravitate towards those people who make our world rich and loving.

And let us love those people in turn with our rich, authentic presence.

Spirituality Block? Body says hug a tree…

While chatting with a colleague today about our respective paths, we reflected on the significant turn in therapy towards relaxation and embodiment. While this is not necessarily new, and there are numerous therapy modalities that facilitate mindbody connection, we were interested in the context beyond therapy.

The promotion of topics such as relaxation, mindfulness, eastern energybody practices and body-thought-emotion awareness has exploded in popular culture.

Alongside this, the new-age, spirituality-growth/development paradigms have become part of our modern narrative.

When we considered these – embodiment and spirituality – we acknowledged that there is at times a gap that separates the two.

This gap is often trauma related.

Traumatic encounter is experienced by the whole person, and while thoughts, feelings, beliefs and emotions are impacted and shaped by trauma, the body is the vehicle that carries the experience.

Trauma often causes a person to dissociate or shift away from bodily awareness so as not to feel pain. It is a coping mechanism that we all have, and which serves us at times, but which later in life if trauma impact has not been addressed, reconnecting with felt, bodily experience can be difficult. 

If we come to a time in our life where we look for greater meaning and connection, we often turn to the spiritual – that which nurtures our sense of connection, reflection, and service.

And yet, when it comes to spiritual development and practice, many folk who have experienced trauma or who carry the energy of past-life trauma, find embodied awareness and expression challenging.

In this way, the trauma body can feel discomfort, resist, become sick, shut-down, exhibit dis-ease, and block or reduce the very connection that a person might seek.

For the individual cultivating her or his spiritual unfoldment there can be frustration, confusion, despair and hopelessness when confronted with seemingly unknown reasons for not expanding or progressing in desired ways.

Alongside this, there can also be great strength, perseverance, ingenuity, curiosity, resilience, hope and more.

Still, the blocks continue.

There can be embodiment – the physical, visceral, sensory awareness – without spiritual awareness.

But in order to meet and unfold spiritually, one has to be in body, have grounded bodily experiences in tangible, conscious ways that enable growth in this material world.

Why?

Because we live a material existence.

We may be spirit having a human experience, and our body may be a house of which we are a temporary custodian, but for the span of years that we are embodied, it is through this glorious vehicle that we come to know ourselves and the world of which we are part.

It is through our embodiment, every feeling, sensation, movement, disruption, pleasure, pain that we meet our spirit and the Source of creation.

But the two must be conscious. Being in body and being in spiritual connection – both must be equally and fully brought to awareness in order for your expansion and growth.

That means feeling. It means meeting the glitches and the hurt they cause. Every disruption, every hurt acknowledged and felt has the potential to self-dissolve or be released.

Energy therapies can help, and they too are more effective when embodied – when the individual assists in the work, feels the energy, becomes aware of the blocks, aids in the release, understands its origins, links any trauma with current day energetic and bodily experience, is aware.

It’s the same with body movement. Be aware in movement. What is body telling me, showing me, feeling me?

Awareness is key – body and spirit.

If this resonates and you haven’t found a practice, like yoga or body meditation, qigong or tai chi or similar, maybe locate a relaxation or body-scan recording online or an MP3. 

Any exercise, repeated practice that grounds you in bodily awareness will aid in your spiritual unfoldment. Again – it’s not enough to go through the motions – when you hug that tree, you have to feel the tree and all the delicious sensations running through hands, arms and body. 

And this is not just for folk who’ve experienced trauma – anyone wanting to develop spiritually will at some point, need to come to body awareness.

Get in touch if you have any questions. Meantime, give yourself a wee tap, tap, tap, head, neck, shoulders, arms, torso, bum, hips, legs… and really feel it… notice what body says about your attention.

After all, it’s one unique, glorious body per life – why not really make it a great friend.

Want a life change but don’t know where to start…

Are you drawn to a more spiritual or satisfying lifestyle or career but don’t know where to begin?

One of the first things any coach or mentor facilitates with their client or pupil is to identify the individual’s vision. What is your desired future?

And, one of the most common stumbling blocks for those individuals is that they don’t know what they actually want.

Often, more than else, a person knows that they are not content with the current state of affairs. They want change or feel a calling towards a different life, but they’re not quite sure what they’d like or how to create it.

For example, Peta was a highly trained marketing manager responsible for six employees in a government department. She’d been in the same job for over eleven years. It paid very well and there were many aspects of the job Peta really enjoyed.

However, the nature of the industry and the high pressured deadlines meant that Peta was constantly working more hours than her 9 to 5 contract, she felt stressed a lot of the time, and her health started to decline. 

Now fortunately, Peta had supports, including her partner, friends, doctor and complementary health practitioners, who encouraged her to cut back from the hours she was working.

Peta took their advice and began to work part time. Because of the way her new hours were staggered, the salary cut wasn’t so significant that she missed it greatly. Peta had two extra days a week to relax, spend time with her children and with herself. Her health improved, she and her family holidayed more, and Peta became happier for her choice.

Alongside this, Peta had time to consider what she wanted for her life. She felt she was at the point of trying something new. She’d always known there was more to life than the 9 to 5, but she’d found herself on a treadmill and didn’t know how to get off. Now that Petra had said goodbye to the full-time treadmill she wanted to branch out into a more personally and spiritually satisfying direction.

But she didn’t know to where to start…

Well, Petra was not alone in her stumbling block. I see many clients who take measures to attend to their health and wellbeing, and who, experiencing positive changes in themselves, want to take that step further, but are not quite sure how to do it or even what it is they’d like as an outcome of change.

Each of them has an unsettled feeling and a drive to do, know, be more. They are becoming or are already awaren of themselves as evolving and expanding, but not really knowing what to do with that awareness, and not satisfied until they are living their expansion. 

Once that awareness comes to the fore, it is very difficult to ignore it and to be satisfied with the status quo. 

This is where having guidance and assistance can help. And who better to turn to than yourself?

That’s right. I’m a firm believer that everything we ever need is already within us, just waiting to surface towards recognition and acknowledgement.

‘Know Thyself.’

This Ancient Greek aphorism is never more relevant than it is today. Said to have donned the forecourt of the Temple of Apollo wherefrom the Oracle of Delphi spoke forth her prophesy, these words cut to the heart of all self-transformation.  

Today, as we bridge into the new age of Aquarius, we are compelled to turn within rather than without, and to know ourselves as divine. But first, we must know ourself.  

When we turn around and begin to really learn about ourselves then we become informed about what in life serves us best.

Too often folk get out of one unhealthy or unsuitable circumstance, whether job, career, relationship, contract, group, institution or other life aspect, only to find themselves in a similarly dissatisfying situation.

Why?

Because they didn’t know themselves.

Of course, there are myriad reasons why patterns are repeated, but certainly our circumstances have a greater chance of change if we know who we are, what our propensities lean towards, what influences us, how those influences came about, how and when we feel, what beliefs we have that don’t serve us, what habit and our values are, and what in life thrills us, excites us, finds us alive with joy or at least gives us peace and wellbeing.

When we come to know our Self, we are closer to knowing what our vision is and how to get there.

Without a doubt, one of the ways to know yourself is to turn inward, to listen to your thoughts, to watch your feelings – when are they activated, what heightens them, what dulls them – what patterns can you see in your life that you repeat in a way that does not help you, and which ones do help you…

Paying attention to your self.

Noticing your self.

Here are my ingredients for that initial step to knowing yourself – they’ve certainly helped me come to work my passions of healing and personal transformation:

  1. Know yourself – mindful awareness
  2. Identify your programme – what early beliefs implanted themselves that no longer serve you – internally and as behaviours/habits
  3. Identify values – make aware the values you hold and note where they are absent in your life
  4. Healing – engage in any healing work needed to assist the transformation
  5. Change your beliefs – alter the subconscious programme through hypnosis, regression work or other
  6. Repetition – repeat new beliefs, understandings
  7. Habituation – repetition in action creating new habits that do serve you aligned with values, authentic vibration and new self-knowing
  8. Turn Around – quietly with time for yourself and with new self-awareness and understanding, ask what is it you want…

There are tools to help you on this journey of self-exploration – so many – I suggest gravitating towards the ones that resonate with you, not just the ones that are more popular or available.

My ingredients are a first step in the unfolding of self-spiritual life change. They’ve helped me, and I use them in my work to help others.

It begins with you knowing you, and then it branches out into development and living your choices. From there it can move on to giving back and service…

Peta resigned from her government part-time job nine months ago. She used the two days off she had to study her young-adult interest of homeopathy. Today, Peta runs her own business supplying homeopathic remedies to holistic services and shops throughout Britain. She has turned her journey into a lifestyle and a service for others, running workshops on health and wellbeing, and treating clients. Peta’s own health has never been better, and just recently she laughed, ‘I’ve got everything I wanted, even though I didn’t know I wanted it back then!’.

Now, it doesn’t have to be natural medicine that floats your boat – it’ll be specific to your interests, values, vibration, soul’s path…

But if you want a spiritual or life change and don’t know where to begin, I hope this has helped, at least a little… Know Thyself. First. 

 

 

 

 

Mindfulness, not Sexy, but…

One of the rich experiences of writing a blog is that whatever I am working on, contemplating, noticing or even exposed to – by self or others – becomes a topic for the week, calling me to explore it more deeply. And in my reflection you have told me that you enjoy your own resonances and reflections. Thank you.

This week, with a touch of irony, it is mindfulness. I write this having just returned the clinic keys, which I have absentmindedly taken home with me – twice this week!

Mindfulness…

I first learnt about mindfulness in 1996 from Chinese Medical Doctor, Andrew Lim, who was teaching me about chi and qigong and meditation. It was not the panacea in the Western world that it is today, but it was the start of my life-change – who knew paying attention to the breath could bring about such awareness.

For me, mindfulness is the foundation tool from which all self-exploration might step. Whether you’re Buddhist or not, the very act of mindfulness practice in the every day brings with it a range of beneficial flow-ons.

Mindfulness really isn’t advertised in a way that appeals to the average person. It’s certainly become the ‘fix-all’ in particular branches of the medical and natural therapies fields, but it still isn’t sexy.

Folk I talk with about mindfulness think it’s hard work, sitting still and trying not to think. But when they learn about the benefits, they’re sometimes ready to explore a little more…

  • less stress
  • understanding and decreasing anxiety
  • greater mental focus and clarity
  • increased concentration
  • increased harmony
  • better relationship with self and others
  • first steps in spiritual and psychic awareness and development
  • greater inner harmony
  • more energy, and
  • increased sense of wellbeing, among much else…

I used to run a group in Melbourne called Mindful Living. Working in community health meant that of the ten or so people attending the group each 8 weeks, most were experiencing anxiety, had been diagnosed with mental health conditions, some had been homeless, and others survived violent relationships.

Each one of the people in that group made significant life changes based on their experiences of mindfulness practice and understanding how their thoughts and feelings impacted their behaviour and choices.

From the smallest shift in one person contributing to the group, to larger ones that saw individuals able to do their own shopping or leave the house without a carer or assistant.

Mindfulness of course is not just for folk who experience anxiety. Mindfulness practice helps us to become aware of the ways our unconscious processes animate our thoughts, feelings and behaviours, as well as becoming more aware of our external world and how we interact with it.

And mindfulness is not just about meditation, and sitting still for hours in the lotus position. Mindfulness practice can occur at anytime throughout the day, during any activity – inner and outer. 

However, regular mindfulness meditation does enhance our ability to be present and to notice the flow of inner and outer experience in the moment.

Regular practice enables us to watch what is coming to us and how we are responding or reacting. By noticing in this way, we are free to make choices more suited to our wellbeing. 

In my mindfulness practice this week I realised that my needs are particular to me. My design is particular to me. And therefore, my alignment is something only I can make happen and be.

In this age of modern gurus and online social marketing, the personal development world has taken a giant step into our living rooms and everyday life.

We are bombarded by ‘opportunities’, ‘experts’, ‘fixes’, ‘the best evers’, emails, advertisements, groups, events and the like. I noticed how easily the sales pitches and invitations to participate, learn and know more, can spin me out of our trajectory and distance me from our alignment with Source and Self.

As I write this, an email pings into my Inbox with the heading ‘OMG!! Exclusive Offer! Are you in?’

During my meditation practice I noticed that the things I was reaching for were distractions. They widened the distance from my alignment – from the place I feel my authenticity and self-knowing. 

That’s not to say that all the material is harmful or distracting; there will be some that suits me just fine, and from which I will benefit. Through my mindfulness practice, I am better able to discern which they are, and not get swept up in the current of ‘must be more’ or ‘ooo, that looks interesting…’.

While I was writing this, I came upon a timely video about a London artist celebrating his black female friends by spray-painting their likeness around London*. Dreph, the artist, finished his interview by referring to the world’s current political climate and the great desire that many of us have to help in some way: 

‘I think we’re all under pressure to be other than ourselves, and that when we are feeling that pressure to be other than who we are, if we can just remember that we are enough, then that will go a long way.’

From my mindfulness meditation practice this week, my state of being shifted out of need, want and getting, to simply being…

In my state of being, I am able to respond to that which gravitates towards me. I observe it and notice whether it fits with who I am or whether it takes me away from my enoughness. And you can do the same.

Among so much else that mindfulness practice is beneficial for, the very act of observing our thoughts, feelings, sensations in the moment, can help us to know that we are enough.

And from that place of enoughness, we can take action available to us – whatever that is and however small or large – to contribute to making our beautiful planet sustainable and harmonious for all beings.

There are generally local Buddhist centres in large towns and cities offering free introductory classes to mindfulness meditation and practice. The Mindfulness Association in the UK offers paid classes, as does the Salisbury centre in Edinburgh. There are many online courses available, and I will have one up and running by the end of September. If interested, just let me know. Meantime, may you find peace in the moment…  

* Drugh Artist Interview: http://www.thefader.com/2017/08/07/dreph-artist-female-friends

‘What if I get it wrong?’

kim-mickle-javelin_0.jpg‘What if I get it wrong?’ or ‘What if I can’t do it?’ are two of the most common questions I’ve been asked since beginning regression therapy. People are concerned that they might not be able to enter the trance state or past life or simply ‘do it right’.

Of course, where this question is asked in the therapy space, it will likely exist in other areas of life. This notion of getting it wrong and failing or fear of failure can seep into our life in all manner of ways. And, it’s likely been around for a long time. If it exists in the therapy room, you can be sure that exists outside of that space, and that at some time that fear has held you back, kept you in unhealthy situations, limited your ideas and actions and influenced your feelings, emotions and view of your world.

I remember thinking it myself when I began the regression work. Ooo, what if I can’t actually get into a past life? I had previous experience in my 20s of past life regression, which helped assuage that notion, but it got me thinking about the feeling behind the thoughts. And that took me back to my teens, and the ‘what if I fail’ fear…

I am 14 years old, and I have competed in the high school sports day. I’ve won the 100-metre sprint, the 400-metre and the javelin, and the head school coach has selected me to go to the state athletics meet. There I am competing in various races and the javelin, which I ended up breaking some age-related record in. So… state coach now gets hold of me and arranges for me to try-out with the national coach and top young athletes in the state.

Well, I was chuffed. And, I was terrified. What if it was a fluke? Do you all know what fluke means? A fluke is some uncanny luck or chance. What if it was that and I couldn’t repeat my long, long throw of this long, long spear?

My folks were really supportive. I remember dad driving me down to the track for the very first sports meet. Well, I got out of the car, walked into the stadium, looked around, couldn’t see anyone, and promptly walked back to the car, heart racing, and told my dad to take me home. He looked at me puzzled, and asked what happened? What could I tell him? I’d chickened out? I was terrified. No, I simply said that I’d changed my mind. It wasn’t for me.

Well, in hindsight, of course, throwing the javelin, becoming a state or national athlete wasn’t my remit in this life. Regardless, I didn’t know that at the time. Heck, I wanted to be an astronaut or an actress, and yes, athlete had passed entered my mind. But my fear of failure, my fear of judgement meant that I wasn’t going to give myself a chance to do that… And it was the same for acting. When I scored the highest in the state for my final year drama performance, recommended to the national acting school, did I go? No. No, I did not. Why? Fear.

It’s the same driver behind those therapy questions. Oh, it can find its way into so many situations. I wonder if you know this fear? I bet you do. I wonder if there has ever been a soul alive who didn’t at one time in their life, know this fear.

For some that self-limiting fear is momentary, and the learning is quick. For others it can last a lifetime. Which are you I wonder? And there’s no judgement here. This is old stuff. This fear is childhood belief stuff. And sometimes, we have come into this life with it. Sometimes it’s other life stuff. It just hangs around, throwing its weight into various scenarios, opportunities, relationships, thoughts and actions.

So when clients come to me now and say, ‘What if I get it wrong’ or ‘What if I can’t do it’, there has been enough time, enough healing, enough self-understanding and awareness for me to say – There is no right or wrong. There is no failing. There is only experience.

There is only experience.

And we determine that experience. That’s what I’ve come to learn. You and I, we determine our inner responses to our external environment.

And our growth point is to become conscious in the experience. In all experience.

First – Let us be conscious in the process of our fear.

Then – Let us act despite our fear.

It’s all experience, Friends.

Let us go forward, consciously.

A Beginning – Life After Life

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Welcome to my blog, where I share personal insights and experiences, teachings, meditations and videos in areas of healing, spirituality, mindfulness and personal-development.

To begin, I’d like to share with you an experience I had recently while watching a YouTube video in which Brian Weiss leads the audience in a past-life regression. It’s called ‘An evening with Brian Weiss’.  The experience speaks to my own journey and to the greater ever-lasting truth that life continues when we leave our body. 

Sitting on the couch, flicking through inspirational videos, I settled on one of Brian Weiss’ talks. As some of you will know, Brian is a leading expert in past-life regression. In this video, he leads the audience on a journey. I decided to participate and made myself comfortable. Closing my eyes, I followed the flow and tone of Brian’s voice and allowed him to facilitate my move into trance.

Call to the Child

First, he encourages us to think about a childhood memory. I am immediately taken back to a well known family photo of me running away from home. Actually cycling. Well, tricycling. At about two and a half, I am on my wee trike, face turned to the camera, stopped mid-motion as I peddle up the drive-way of my grandparents’ house.

As Brian takes us deeper into this memory, I no longer see the photograph but am now in the living experience of that moment. I am in my small child body, sat astride my tricycle. My tiny hands are wrapped around white rubber grips of the handlebars. My little legs are touching the seat, bike and ground, and I feel my determination, my purpose. There is no sadness, no anger, no indignation or tantrum as one might expect of a toddler leaving home. Rather, there is simply the knowing that I must leave. I feel the pull of something my child thoughts cannot explain, a current that I am following, flowing with, though I could not at that age have told you what or how, or even that it existed. All I know in that moment is that I must peddle away because I am called to do so.

Womb and Birth

Brian takes us further back now, into the womb, in the prenatal state, encouraging the experience, whether imagination or memory. And now I am back there, inside my mother’s womb. I can hear the pulsing, whooshing of blood and the warm, wonderful containment. Around me I feel safe, secure, unworried and unfettered by decisions or thoughts. I can feel my mother’s mixed emotions and I feel her love. I feel her strength and her resolve.

As Brian leads the audience and myself through our birth, I am shocked to experience the world of light and air and matter. It is all so much, so harsh, like sandpaper, and my cry is a cry of alarm and a will to retreat. And then love. Then warmth. Then comfort.

The Spirit Realms

Floating above this scene now, Brian takes us farther back to a past life and death point, and I am taken to a spiritual place. I am standing in the familiar realm of Spirit. I am me and not me, feeling both male and female. Before me stands a luminescent shape of an older woman. Her light is bright and that is all I can see. She exudes love for me, and yet it is not familial. I do not recognise her as family. She feels old beyond years, and I have the sense that the form she allows me to glimpse is merely for my benefit. Even as I am vaguely aware of Brian continuing to talk, asking ‘Are there any messages for you?’, this light being reaches into my thoughts with her voice. Though she seems to stand so close, I cannot see through to her or tell her distance, but her voice echoes clear and deep within me.

‘You see?’ she says, ‘You were already always leaving, making your way on the path.‘ And then she showed me that my little self was simply obeying an internal rhythm, a dance of the Universe, set in play before I was born and even before that, compelling me to follow its call. She showed me the nature of that path – of the healing and teaching, of the cycle that is life-in-spirit, life-in-matter, life-in-spirit; how my spirit leaves the spirit realms to be born again, and again, and again; how as spirit in the material world, once more I called to heed the vibration of the Universe along the trajectory of my soul’s path. She showed me too that my task was to remember this and to bring my knowledge and awareness into the world with me. It is why I share it now.

The Cycle

I come from Spirit. I am Spirit. You come from Spirit. You are Spirit.

All that I AM is conceived in Spirit. 

Born into the material world, we move along a pre-ordained path that in its fullest potential is aligned with the Spirit within us and from which we came. In our material life, we are tasked with remembering all that our long-memory, which we have intact in Spirit, knows of our Self in its magnificent, divine creation, such that our material life may thrive and be of service to others.

And here I am, fumbling my way through this earthly existence, just like everybody else, living, loving, falling down and getting up. Only now, I am listening. Now I am feeling. Now I am being present, ever learning, ever seeking, ever growing, ever training my material self to recognise and respond to the memory of my spirit and the call of the Universe in this dance and melody of Life after Life.