Jesus Take The Wheel

Before my regression training, I felt a silent, fierce impetus that pushed me forward, that got me up every day, that kept me on a trajectory, and which whispered into my ear ‘You’re on the right path – keep going’.

After more than a dozen past and current life energy clearings, that silent, fierce impetus is no more.

And what I’ve realised after it had disappeared, is that it had left little room for much else. It was a driving force that drove all else, but the energy of it, aside. 

I use to marvel at folks who would go to art classes, dance lessons, evening walks, theatre, singing groups, heck, leisurely holidays abroad. My impetus meant that I had little time for those pleasures.

Even though I would encourage others to take up hobbies, to rest and enjoy creative endeavours, to make time to experience non-work activities; even though I knew that this material incarnation is a gift to be cherished and experienced in all its many facets… still, my fierce impetus told me there wasn’t room for everyday pleasure, joyful abandon or simply having fun. My impetus had a trajectory, a forward urgency that relentlessly push, push, pushed me, on and on…

But my last set of regressions released that impetus. Cut it off from my life energy. It was linked to a few past lives as religious persons, and one in particular…

High up on a sharp mountainside, within the thick, medieval walls of a last bastion of a castle, I sat in my aged, male body, desperately attempting to complete a piece of writing that would ensure the secrets of a young boy’s ancestry, his bloodline, would be safe. Two men awaited my completion, for the parchment to go into the dark wooden chest, with all the other documents that needed safe keeping. Two poles had been fixed to the chest so the men could carry it beyond the castle walls and town. Time was of the essence. But time did not favour us. A loud commotion alerted me to the battle raging through the castle. I could hear it getting closer and closer – the sound of metal on metal, the muffled cries of men dying. And now, my room breached and the men by the chest cut down, and before the ink is dry and the parchment hidden, I am driven through by the sword of a knight among those who have stormed the castle; my work left unfinished.

The impetus that drove me came from this time. The religious fervour that was my drive, derived from that incarnation – a job unfinished.

And now that life is healed. And now that wound is healed.

And now that impetus is gone. The striving has vanished.

And I am left, a small boat upon a big ocean, no longer fevered in my drive towards spiritual truth, unanchored now, free to float towards a trajectory, unknowing what that is…

And, it’s like any change. It’s an ending. And where there is ending, there is a strange twilight receding and beginning. A time of inbetweenness, of uncertainty. A time that can be most unsettling.

That time can feel lost and wayward and as if purpose is unknown.

And, I know that I am not alone in this experience. That I am a microcosm of the macrocosmic inbetweenness that is our moving out of one eon or age into another; that is our changing evolution and vibrational state.

And this is played out on all levels, and we feel it as individuals. 

It may be the release of energy; it may be the job transition, the end of a relationship, the passing of a loved one, the changing of home or city or intention. It may be heightened emotions, unexplained illnesses, inexplicable concerns… A sudden or gradual change of a state or a way of being.

We are a species constantly experiencing inbetweenness but ever more so just now. In this global condition, we agreed to incarnate into as we cross the Bridge of Ages, we live with change and uncertainty. And though our individual experience often mirrors the global condition, our conscious awareness, our awakeness, can assist us in times of transition and inbetweenness.  

So, what to do? How do we live with the forces of uncertainty – in the inbetweenness?

Well, a couple of days ago, I was introduced to the term, ‘Jesus take the wheel’. It coincided with a piece I’d just written on letting go. 

Jesus take the wheel.

Let go and trust.

Let go and trust that all will be exactly as needs be. 

Because, I don’t know about you, but me, when I’m in that uncertainty, I tend to hold more tightly.

Jesus take the wheel… Let it go.

What happens when we hold tightly, latch on to, push against, is that our efforts usually cause us more unrest, hurt, disappointment.

Why? Because when we hold tight, attach, push, we do so from fear… Fear of loss, fear of hurt, fear of failure, fear of loneliness, fear of poverty, fear of all manner of things… And when we are sitting in uncertainty, fear can rise up in ways that it hasn’t before…  

Like when a person had an impetus that is no longer there…

When we let go, we don’t stop caring, but we do stop forcing, trying to control… When we let go, we TRUST that our very own, authentic, loving self will BE and DO exactly what is needed for our wellbeing.

Because when we let go, we surrender to the laws of the Universe, the rhythm of our planet of which we are part. We ride the wave that is the Symphony of Life within a vibration of harmony.

As Buddhist nun Pema Chodron says, that when we can let go of the fear, we come to learn how to live beautifully with uncertainty and change.

We let go.

Jesus take the wheel!

We let go into the space between, and we trust.

And rather than holding tightly, we can let go into all manner of experiences. We let go into family. We let go into friends. We let go into creativity. We let go into joy. We let go into meditation, dance, art, singing, Spirit. We let go into Love.

We let go into the Universe and its harmonious flow.

Jesus take the wheel.

For me that means living without striving, without that urgency pushing me forward; it means trusting that the unfolding of inbetweenness into knowing, clarity and newness, will have its own riches, learnings, opportunities.

Less impetus. More joy. Less striving. More play. 

That is my intention now – to live beautifully in this time of change.

What would it be like for you, if ‘Jesus’ took the wheel? If you let go and trust each moment in uncertainty, knowing, really knowing that even uncertainty has its beauty…

What do you think?

 

Now, this week, I have taken a week off from seeing clients. I have had a very long to-do list and thought this time would give me a chance to catch up. However, rather than getting through my to-do list, this week has given me a chance to think.

I know, right… think. You’d expect that we do it all the time, so why would I need to make time to think. Well, apparently 95% of our thoughts during the day are ones we’ve had the day before! Crazy huh. But when you think about it, you begin to realise that you’re playing over conservations, repeating thoughts of yesterday, and to be fair, reserach tells us that 80% of those are negative! Blimey. 

Actual thinking is something else.

One of my coaches, Bob Proctor says, When you think, everything inside shifts. You break through all the chaos and confusion. A feeling of order, purpose and intention takes over. 

I would add that when we think, we make conscious, present space for ideas, notions, realisations and feelings to emerge.

When we consciously think, we make room for understanding.

Well, there’s been a lot of change in my life recently, and the time I’ve given myself this week has allowed me to think, to reflect and understand the energy and circumstances related to those changes.

I realised that old, old energy had been moving my relationships. That I had been a puppet to them, and they weren’t even mine – they belonged to my childhood. The energy of fear and separation had infiltrated my unconscious programming and had been steering me along relationship paths that played out accordingly. So sad. And so sad that realisation. But also so freeing. And now, seen in the light of day, processed through thinking, felt through body, it is released, and I am able to go forward with greater self awareness and understanding. And, thank goodness, I am able to take a friend up on a weekend trip away because I am choosing connection rather than separation. I am choosing play rather than work, work, work.

But why did it take so long? 

Well, there’s likely a number of interwoven reasons, including personal development and readiness to heal, but when I was talking with my brother in Adelaide, Australia, this morning, we shared some ideas about thinking. We both agreed that the treadmill of work, family, social life, social media, and personal commitments and responsibilities fills our days with repetition and distraction from truly thinking. In this way, new ideas, new realisations, new understandings, are hard-pressed to make themselves known.

My dreams were telling me that process was happening, but my days were filled so tightly that none of the subconscious awareness was making its way to the surface.

Just giving myself time to think in the mornings has made a world of difference. 

When I get up now, I make a fresh juice of fruit, ginger, tumeric, and greens – spinach or curly kale – with spirulina powder mixed in. Then I go meditate for 20-30 minutes, after which I work out with qigong and exercise for another 20 minutes. This routine has meant getting up an hour and half earlier than before. And while that was a struggle at first, now, I look forward to it.

It is during the meditation that the space allows process to rise up. It is after meditation that the thinking is given room to happen. And it’s beautiful.

The thinking brings with it the feeling (though sometimes feeling leads to thinking). And the feeling is powerful. It’s not always comfortable, mind. There are often tears, but that too is beautiful, because it is all healing.

What I found was that the busyness of my day meant I did a lot of avoiding; a lot of ‘i’ll get to that (thought) later’. Making time to allow the percolation of feeling/thinking states to occur, rise up and be seen and felt is one of the most important realisations I’ve had this week. I really do feel happier.

It’s so simple, isn’t it? I mean, it sounds so simple. But really, when was the last time you just allowed new thinking and inner feelings to speak to you?

So… when did you last THINK? I mean really think.

And when you did, what did you realise? What happened? I’m really interested to know, so if inclined, send me a message.

Meantime, happy thinking! 

With Love and Blessings,
Karolyne

Oh My Goodness! Oh My Godness!

You know, I have been on this personal development path for a long time. It probably began when I was living amongst Buddhist Chinese-Malay folk on Christmas Island. True, my work wasn’t particularly spiritual at the time – surveillance in a casino, can you believe – but I did immerse myself in the Buddhist culture then at the age of 26 years. I went to temple, to celebrations and listened to the dharma. My travels took me along the Buddhist trail, and my first teacher, Andrew Tem Foo Lim, normalised my energy and kundalini experiences, and showed me the meaning of capital-L Love and compassion; Love that is greater than self and more than a single being; Love that encompasses strangers, people we don’t particularly enjoy or agree with, as well as those close to us; Love with a holy quality that transcends personalities, and which brings us closer to the divine within and of which we are part.

Even though I have been on this journey – lifetimes, no doubt – more than 25 years in this turn of the wheel, and even though I have followed my path, all the signs, all the openings, feeling this way and that, moving closer and closer… Still, I am prone to doubt sometimes.

Recently, it had been difficult to hold my head above uncertainty. A whole lot of personal change, moving home and vibrational shift had me pondering the grand meanings. And just when I needed that deep inner plane connection – with Spirit and Heru – nothing would come. Nadda. I felt as if a blanket had been thrown over me. It seemed I could not hear or see or feel Spirit or my other clair-senses. And I felt lost, and yes, afraid of what that meant. I could still link to people’s family who had passed, but my ability to elevate my energy and raise my vibration so that I could make contact with the higher frequency planes and communicators was dampened.

I’ve since heard that there is a lot of energetic activity over the Earth at present, and that light workers, healers, psychics, mediums, and all other folk who work with altered states and vibrational health, have experienced a blanking of sorts. You too may have felt something similar. Rest assured, it has lifted, and it seems the general consensus was, time for ‘rest’.

What does it take for you to stop, and to rest? When was the last time you did? I mean really stop; time and space that was just for you. What was it like? And how do you feel when you bring it to memory now?

Well, the flu (twice this year) didn’t stop me; I kept going – working, moving house, meeting groups, putting on smiles and ‘pushing through’. BUT, when my psychism was affected; when I suddenly felt like I was without my extra-sensory capacity, THEN I stopped.

And you won’t believe what happened when I stopped; when I gave myself time…

All of a sudden I realised that the thing I thought I wanted to do with my life, and was just taking steps towards via routes of unfoldment…. well, it turns out, I don’t want to do it! ha!

When I allowed myself to stop, to sit, to let the thoughts flow, the feelings rise within me and tell their story, then the truth of my Soul arose.

And oh! I could feel the LOVE. My heart ached with that Love. The thought and feeling of how magnificent it would be to help folk turn around to discover and come to know their own God Self – to connect with their Soul and to bring that connection into the world.

Yes!

Oh my goodness! Oh my Godness!

A little bit of quiet. A little bit of free-flowing thought. A lot of coaxing the feelings to rise up and immerse myself in. And a load of honesty.

My blanket of doubt is gone. My connection to the Inner Planes and beyond is returned.

So, when have you doubted? What do you doubt now?

Go sit with yourself. Make time for yourself. Be still with yourself.

The Love that rises within you when you nurture your precious being by opening ways of communication within – that Love speaks your truth.